Sounds of Hawaii

Hawaiian goddess overlooking the port of Hilo.

Hawaiian goddess overlooking the port of Hilo.

I have just spent two weeks on my annual sojourn to Hilo, Hawaii, staying with my cousin, Tracey and her husband, Robert, my home away from home. This year I was struck by how different the sounds of Hawaii are from my home in New Hampshire.

I arrived at dusk, in time for the evening’s coqui chorus. Coqui frogs are small tree frogs, accidentally introduced to Hawaii from Puerto Rico in 1988 that have taken over the trees and airwaves of Hilo. Most sources describe coquis as “a major noise nuisance,” but for two weeks, they were a unique nightly entertainment.

The next morning, I woke to a veritable symphony of birds singing in the dawn. That first day, I was thrilled to hear their fat, melodious, trickling calls, like dozens of bell-trees played in rippling overlap. Their wake-up call is very loud. On subsequent days, I resorted to earplugs.

This is the season when the humpbacks raise their young in the warm waters of Hawaii. Whales are visible nearly every day. Swimming in a picturesque crescent-shaped bay of turquoise water, Tracey showed me how to float on my back with my ears underwater and listen for whales. On several rare occasions, we could have heard the high squealing whistle of humpbacks.

This year, we saw and heard a baby playing with two adult whales. With her nose down, one adult would slam her tail on the surface repeatedly, up to a dozen times in a row, like playing an ocean-sized timpani. Then the baby would do it. Back and forth they played, occasionally alternating with slamming their large side flukes on this resonant water drum. They were far enough away that the resulting sound was delayed from the actual hit. Watching with binoculars, we were mesmerized, wondering what was the purpose of these behaviors. It looked like play and wondrous fun.

One of my last days there, Tracey took me to the largest petroglyph site in Hawaii. A half-mile walk over hot, black-lava rock brought us to an area with over 23,000 petroglyphs. Early Polynesian Hawaiians carved and dug these symbols into the lava bedrock before they had written language.

Animals and humans use their voices to play, communicate, and connect. We are a part of this wondrous environment. These unique sounds of Hawaii remind me of a song that I am rehearsing with Songweavers. From the Paul Winter Consort, we sing:

Voices are calling round the earth.

Music is rising in the sea…

In a circle of friends, in a circle of sound.

All our voices will blend, when we touch Common Ground.

Follow the Voice

Here’s a little background on how I came to “Follow the Voice.”

AFter 35 years, Paul and I are still playing together.

After 35 years, Paul and I are still playing music together.

Every vocal problem I have ever had was a physical manifestation of an inner block, whether mental, physical, emotional or spiritual. In order to learn a new technique or vocal skill, I inevitably ran into myself – my preconceptions, my physical patterns, the connection between my breath and emotions. I discovered that singing and performing were a mirror for my inner landscape. Technique could teach me to breathe, sing and perform better, but only to a certain point. Mechanics eventually ran into the body’s energetic patterns. I realized that in order to open my voice further, I also had to look within.

I have sung all my life, with my first band in high school, church choirs, wedding solos, a college folk band, voice lessons and my first classical recital at Colby College. I loved singing, but I always wanted to be a teacher. After college, I got a Master’s in Elementary Education and had my own classroom for three years.

I met my husband, Paul, when he was in law school and a guitar player. We made a folk band, playing in local bars. I finally realized that while I loved teaching, I could always have a classroom, but I might not always be able to sing, I needed to pursue it now while I was young. I went to New England Conservatory and got a Master’s in Vocal Pedagogy. NEC was a traditional music school, stressful and hierarchical. When it came time to write my thesis, I realized that there had to be better ways of teaching and learning vocal technique. Called “Through the Back Door: a New Vocal Pedagogy,” it began my quest to affirm and help release people’s core voice.

In a conservatory, the competition is fierce. If you aren’t one of the obviously brilliant players, your judgmental, doubting voice could easily convince you of your lack of talent. I gave up singing anything classical for several years after graduating. I went back to folk music, which I loved. In my last year at NEC, I also took a master class and weekend workshop with Eloise Ristad, who wrote A Soprano on Her Head. These experiences crystallized my beliefs – that all people can sing, that singing makes people happy, and that, in its largest context, the voice is a metaphor for our lives. It is our soul print.  My mantra became “Follow the voice.” It always leads me home.

When I began teaching voice lessons, I continued my exploration of alternative methods with my students. I began attracting more adult students, mostly women, who felt disconnected from their voice. Because I couldn’t find a workshop that offered what I needed at the time, I developed my own, called Vibrant Voice. My goal is always to give people an expanded experience of their voice. In the process, they breathe deeper, vibrate the whole body, tune up their entire system, and reconnect the four levels of their voice – the public voice, the private voice, the inner monologue and the core soul voice. Connecting voice to breath to heart to spirit makes people feel present and whole again.

Music Everywhere

In the movie, “August Rush,” a young musical prodigy says, “There’s music everywhere. You just have to listen.”

wind chimes singing on the screen porch

wind chimes singing on the screen porch

On this sunny Sunday, two acoustic guitars pick an old folk melody on the stereo. The soft popping percussion of a fire flickers in the fireplace. The sounds of moving air surround me. The burning wood releases heat and gas, which sound like crisp sheets flapping in the wind. The furnace blowing hot air (thankfully in this cold) is a droning white noise underneath everything, like the fundamental note bowed on an upright bass. Outside, the wind is frisky and determined, randomly roaring around the house like a speeding train. Wind chimes jingling on the screen porch are like a bell tree playing with the wind. Icy snow dropping off the roof onto the deck is like the rhythmic scraping of a guiro. My breath inhaling and exhaling establishes the basic pulse.

In – out – scrape – flap – in  – out – drone – chime – in – out – pop – flicker – jingle.

angel chimes in shadow

angel chimes in shadow

Air is a fluid medium for sound. A plane loses pitch as it flies overhead. The furnace booms as the back-up burner kicks on. On a “quiet” Sunday afternoon, my house plays a symphony. The cat meows. I am cradled in sound. This sweet enfolding is the breath of life. I wrote a song called “The Breath of Life” about the wind singing around my house. The lyrics to the bridge are:

“The wind blows. The wind blows. I remember, remember to breathe.”

Take some time to listen. Breathe. Let your heart open.

Happy New Year!

Winter Sun after snow storm.

Winter Sun after snow storm.

The sun is emerging weak and welcome after a winter storm that covered my world with ten inches of new snow. The porch railing trails a shadow after days of gray. Snow crystals twinkle like diamonds in the pale lemon light. It is a pristine New Year.

My inspiration comes from the quiet turning of the year. The long fall of darkness pivots at the Winter Solstice, pausing to ponder life’s mysteries. The new year begins to gather light, the lengthening days an external metaphor for the energy unfolding within. I spend the month of December reveling in spirit and song – performing, feasting, singing carols, giving gifts and lighting lights “to drive the cold winter away.”

Now, this third day of January, I sit still. I listen. I watch blobs of snow fall off the roof with a soft whoosh. I rotate toward the sun like my plants. Next week, Songweavers will sing again, with its deep well of wonderful women. Two Vibrant Voice workshops in January and Valentine’s performances in February will keep me singing to warm the winter days.

Music is listening and listening is music. Before the busy, noisy fray of life takes over, take time to listen.

I wish you all good blessings this year.

The Larksong Trio Releases First CD – “Homeward Bound”

A week ago, The Larksong Trio officially released our first CD, Homeward Bound,  at a CD release concert. We had a glorious

The Larksong Trio yucking it up - Calvin Herst, Jennifer Yeaton-Parris et moi!

The Larksong Trio yucking it up – Calvin Herst, Jennifer Yeaton-Parris et moi!

time playing to a sold-out house of friends and supporters. The main requirement for adding a song to our repertoire is that it be beautiful – a beautiful melody or beautiful arrangement, beautiful upbeat or slow, or the opportunity for one of us – flute, piano or voice – to play a beautiful part. The result of all this beauty is a slow expansion of the heart and a melting into the present moment. It was heaven. The audience came with us.

Despite the positive atmosphere, I found myself feeling more nervous than I expected. I was prepared. The audience was supportive. We played beautifully, Calvin on piano, Jennifer on flute and I singing my heart out. I was reminded that performance anxiety can creep in even in the best of performance situations. In fact, it would have been easier if I hadn’t known half the audience. My mind is very creative in finding a story to tell myself about present circumstances in order to put me on edge. Aware of this tendency, I breathed into the anxiety, knowing breath would expand the fear into the excitement it really was. I breathed over and over, song after song, breathing, coming back into my body, dropping into the beauty and flow of each song.

Fritz Perls, the founder of Gestalt therapy, said, “Fear is excitement without the breath.” Fear and excitement are the flip sides of the same energy. I use this turn around for my advantage. If we take the labels off what feels like uncontrollable energy and breathe into that energy, we find what is actually present – excitement. That excitement feeds the performance, making it real. Breathe. Feel. Excitement. Present. Onstage we go, to share and revel in the vibration of beauty.

To get  copies of our new CD, go to www.larksongtrio.com or write me directly and I will send them to you.

 

Songhealers: Musical Love

(This article will appear in the Concord Monitor in mid-November.)Songhealers

Ubi caritas et amor,

 Ubi caritas, Deus ibi est.

 These are the words to a chant that Songhealers added to its repertoire. The words are Latin for, “Where there is compassion and love, God is there.” Songhealers exemplifies this song.

Songhealers is an ad hoc group of Songweavers, which is a community chorus of about 130 women, which I direct at Concord Community Music School. Songhealers grew out of the love of singing and the healing power of song that Songweaver women experience in weekly rehearsals. The mission of Songhealers is to bring healing and affirming music to the patients, family members and staff at Concord Hospital and Hospice House. Songhealers sings at each locale once a month. Directing Songweavers for the past two years, I watched Songhealers create a community of dedicated women who share the gift of comforting music. This year, I decided to experience the love myself.

In October, I joined Songhealers for the first time, not to direct, but to sing. On a Thursday, fifteen women met in the lobby of Concord Hospital at 5:00pm for a quick half-hour run-through of the songs we would sing – Give Me Birds at the Dawning, Bright Morning Stars, A Place Called Home, Think of Me, and I’m Gonna Walk to the Glory of the River. The songs vary in rhythm and content, but they all have beautiful melodies, affirm hope and invite peace

I did not know what to expect. To be honest, I was a little nervous. I didn’t know how patients and families would respond. I didn’t know how I would respond. Hospitals are places of emotional and physical challenges. People are there because something is wrong. Five years ago, I spent many times singing in some of these same rooms for my best friend as she died of cancer. What I know is that music, particularly sung music which vibrates the whole body, opens doors for people – doors of emotional, physical, and spiritual experiences and doors of viscerally stored memories. I wondered if I would be overwhelmed by my own difficult memories of singing for Laura.

What I found singing with these joyful women was the slow opening of wonder. We’d stop at a spot in the hallway, stand in a cluster at the convergence of several patient rooms, and sing two songs. At a patient’s request, we sometimes sang three, then moved on down the hall. Nurses came and went. Doors remained open or closed depending on a patient’s need or desire for sound. One man came out of his wife’s room and said, “You ladies are doing a beautiful thing. Your kindness is greatly appreciated.”

This is not entertainment. The focus of Songhealers is to share songs of a healing and spiritual nature – fun, joyful and loving, a lifting of everyone’s spirits, including ours. It is about the connection, spirit to spirit through music. Gail Laker-Phelps, one of the current coordinators of Songhealers, said, “Like Songweavers, it’s addictive. I can’t imagine my life without Songhealers. We feel uplifted every time, no matter how solemn or sad. We know the patients and family feel the same.”

Songhealers began as a loving outreach by Carolyn Parrott, the creator of Songweavers, and Lucy Crichton, a friend and sister singer, who sang at the bedside of their dear friend at Hospice House. After the friend died, the family asked if Lucy and Carolyn would sing at her memorial service. Lucy called Chris Richards and a number of other Songweavers who sang at the service as a way of saying thank you to a friend who died too young.

From that summer of 1996, the women were asked to sing at services, nursing homes, Cancer Survivor Days, the hospital and Hospice House. The decision was made to focus on healing. Lucy Crichton and Chris Richards coordinated Songhealers for many years, passing the baton to the current coordinators, Gail Laker-Phelps, Anne Bonaparte-Krogh and Mary Marsh. Songhealers has often sung for Songweavers and their families when there is a need for healing.

The stories these women tell are heart-warming and powerful – of bringing warmth to a memorial service for a Songweaver’s son who had committed suicide; singing Silent Night one night near Christmas at Hospice House, hearing from a grateful family that a woman had died during that song; the surprise of loved ones who were dying and non-communicative waking up with a smile or even joining in the singing; singing Don’t Fence Me In for an older gentleman in Hospice House, who sang along as happy as can be; and singing at the State Hospital when everyone in the room spontaneously stood up and held hands in a circle, the tangible connection lighting up the room.

Several years ago, Songhealers were singing in the hallway of Concord Hospital when a woman came to her doorway dragging her I.V. She told the group that she had been asleep and awoke to such angelic singing she thought for a moment, that she had gone on to heaven!

Before singing in the hallways, Songhealers take a moment to reflect on their purpose, to share the spirit of healing and love through music. At Hospice House last year, the women were invited by a family to sing at the bedside of a woman, who then died while Songhealers were singing. They softly finished their song and left the room. Later, the staff told them that the family wanted to be sure they knew that their loved one’s wish was to die with music. And she had. The family expressed their deep gratitude for the comfort Songhealers had given to all of them.

As Lucy Crichton described the experience of singing with Songhealers, “Most often when the singing is over, Songhealers mention how much they have received from sharing the music. Our hearts are warmed again and again as we participate briefly in the lives and stories of others. It is truly an open-hearted gift of love.”

Anne Bonaparte-Krogh related her experience singing with Songhealers shortly after her father passed away. She wasn’t sure if she’d be able to sing through the freshness of her grief. She said, “I’ve noticed other Songhealers occasionally choking up when we sing. I think singing with Songhealers helps whether wounds are fresh or old. It puts the illnesses and injuries, the waiting and deaths in our own lives in context – the universality of suffering, moving through the suffering within our human experience – and always, Song carrying on.”

I was also moved to tears several times in the hour and a half we sang in the hospital hallways. This touching – person-to-person, spirit-to-spirit, soul-to-soul, with people we didn’t know and will probably never see again, is real connection. We know it in our minds. We feel it in our hearts. In our busy, over-achieving, technology-centric culture, we rush through the days of our lives pretending successful connection is the number of emails in our in-box or the importance of our to-do list or the number of friends we have on Facebook.

Here in the sterile, fluorescent, machine-driven environment of a hospital, I found deep, heart-opening connection – between the singers, in the smile of a thankful nurse, in the excited voices of visiting children with little to do, and with the grateful husband of an ailing wife. Our simple singing gave to those who needed it the vibrations of hope and human connection. As one of our songs reminds us

Round and round we go,

We hold each other’s hands.

And weave our lives in a circle.

Our love is strong; the dance goes on.

 

For information on Songweavers and Songhealers, go to www.ccmusicschool.org

Singing Anywhere

On my last visit to The Memory Center, sitting in rocking chairs in the town center with my mother and my sister, Heidi, I

Pumpkins singing together all the way out the door.

Pumpkins singing together all the way out the door.

remembered something from childhood that explains a quirk I have about singing in public places. It was early evening at TMC, after dinner. Most residents were in their wing quietly watching TV or resting. A few mobile residents would walk past us, stop to chat briefly, then move on.

The town center is an open communal space with a two-story ceiling painted a soft blue like the sky. There are a couple of café tables, a piano playing old popular music, an ice cream stand and inviting rocking chairs, where we were sitting. It is a very resonant space. When I spoke to a man my age or possibly younger, my voice came out fairly loud, louder than expected. My mother immediately turned to me and scowled. Then I remembered the lessons of my childhood. Young ladies do not speak too loud. They do not draw attention to themselves in public places.

I have spent my life singing in bands and on stage, from folk and jazz to classical art songs. I love standing up to sing “I Know My Redeemer Liveth” with an orchestra. But I rarely sing in grocery stores or on sidewalks or randomly without purpose. I rarely sing in the course of my day where people can hear me unless I am practicing or rehearsing for a concert. No wonder. I learned my lesson well. I had internalized the rules so deeply they had become unconscious, directing my behavior from subterranean certainty.

The irony makes me laugh as I write this. I close my eyes and breathe into this suddenly open door, the possibility of singing whenever and wherever – just for fun! I’ll keep you posted.

TRY THIS: Are you comfortable singing anywhere? Let me know what it’s like.

Stories from The Memory Center

Last month, I sang again at the Memory Center, where my mother lives with her fading mind. I have sung for the residents every 3

Sing "Amazing Grace" with Esther (in pink) at an earlier visit

Sing “Amazing Grace” with Esther (in pink) at an earlier visit

or 4 months since my mother moved there 4 years ago. I know what to expect, but this time I was touched yet again by a couple of new realizations.

First, I am singing as much for myself as the residents. A wonderful pianist, Kathryn, who lives nearby, comes to play with me. We have become friends. Singing is a way to give the residents some of their memories back. Two new residents, a man and a woman not much older than me, danced together. He asked her to dance, gently put her purse down so her arms were free, took her hand and waist in the traditional manner, and danced to “After the Ball Was Over.” I could see that he loved to dance and was probably an excellent dancer not too long ago. It was thrilling to watch their joy as they waltzed. Kathryn and I played as many dance tunes as we could find. Everyone sang or smiled.

Another touching moment was when an older gentleman, hunched over and frail, but still walking, came right up to me and held my hand. I was singing the Hoky-Poky. He moved his lips and actually tried to put his right hand in and his left hand out. This man, with advanced Alzheimers, knew what we were doing, He stayed with me for the whole song, holding my hand, looking into my face, moving what he could. The look in his eyes, totally connected to mine, made me want to cry.

I usually keep some distance from Mom while singing for a group of residents. I have noticed that when I come too close, she seems uncomfortable being the focus of attention with me. But for the last song,” This Little Light of Mine,” I bent down in front of her wheelchair and sang to her. Her face teared up. Teary myself, I smiled up at her and kept singing. Yes, you know me. I am special to you. I love you. That moment of eye-to-eye connection came and went in three blinks, but it’s mine now, a treasure in this fading time.

Songweavers Sing Again

Songweavers are singing again! Yahoo! Every year, we take a break after our spring concert in mid-April, beginning again in

Songweavers warming up.

Songweavers warming up.

September. As summer turns the corner into another school year, I can feel my attention building toward the first rehearsal. When Tuesday night came, 80 women raised the roof of Concord Community Music School, the energy of each of us amplified by the others. The volcano building in me spilled over in song as we drummed, sang, laughed and rejoiced to be together again.

In Illuminations, a novel about Hildegaard von Bingen by Mary Shallott, Hildegaard says that singing is a symphony of the soul. Singing – together, alone, in praise, in grief, in tribute, in love – releases the spirit of our soul. The audible and felt vibrations of that connected sound electrify every cell in our bodies. No wonder Songweavers leave rehearsal smiling. As we sing our way home, we know we are one.

Find a chorus near you. There are many groups now – non-auditioned or auditioned, community, church or professional, with music or aural tradition. Singing with others will raise your vibration. The symphony of your soul will thank you.

The Bliss of Recording

instudioYesterday, I spent the day recording with the Larksong Trio. With the addition of a clarinetist, we recorded six songs on texts by e.e.cummings, composed by my longtime friend, William Fletcher, aka Bill. The whole day was such fun!

I love recording because it requires my entire, focused attention. I need to be 100% present, singing the word on the note in the phrase I’m singing as I am singing it, not on the word I just missed or the last note which went flat or sharp or the tricky passage coming up. The second my mind wanders to notes already sung or those to come, I frequently make a mistake. Spending an entire day immersed in what I’m doing as I’m doing it is bliss. It’s tiring and invigorating at the same time. It requires all my attention, but focusing all my attention on only one note or phrase at a time is like a vacation from worries, planning, and to-do lists, the fast tap-dance my brain does for me every day.

Recording yesterday reminded me that I can do what I’m doing any moment I like, regardless of what I am doing. Because music has demanded my attention, I have learned how to focus and be present singing, conducting, arranging and teaching. This is a skill that can easily be transferred to daily living. When my brain takes off upon awakening with today’s to-do list, I forget that I know how to be present – both enlivened and relaxed. Like writing this blog in the late summer sun – being present, smiling at the fun of it!

Try this for yourself: Take a break from what you’re doing for a brief moment. Sit still where you are and breathe, noticing the texture of the air on your skin, air breathing around your body. Inhale, easily, the exhale a sigh, joining your breath to the air. After 2 or 3 audible sighs, add a tone to the sigh, sliding down your breath until you find a note your body likes. Slide audibly on your vocal slide 3-4 times. The last time, let your voice sound the last note for the length of your breath. Connection is my sounding breath vibrating with the molecules of air around me at this very moment. Present. Supported. Smiling.