On my last visit to The Memory Center, sitting in rocking chairs in the town center with my mother and my sister, Heidi, I
Pumpkins singing together all the way out the door.
remembered something from childhood that explains a quirk I have about singing in public places. It was early evening at TMC, after dinner. Most residents were in their wing quietly watching TV or resting. A few mobile residents would walk past us, stop to chat briefly, then move on.
The town center is an open communal space with a two-story ceiling painted a soft blue like the sky. There are a couple of café tables, a piano playing old popular music, an ice cream stand and inviting rocking chairs, where we were sitting. It is a very resonant space. When I spoke to a man my age or possibly younger, my voice came out fairly loud, louder than expected. My mother immediately turned to me and scowled. Then I remembered the lessons of my childhood. Young ladies do not speak too loud. They do not draw attention to themselves in public places.
I have spent my life singing in bands and on stage, from folk and jazz to classical art songs. I love standing up to sing “I Know My Redeemer Liveth” with an orchestra. But I rarely sing in grocery stores or on sidewalks or randomly without purpose. I rarely sing in the course of my day where people can hear me unless I am practicing or rehearsing for a concert. No wonder. I learned my lesson well. I had internalized the rules so deeply they had become unconscious, directing my behavior from subterranean certainty.
The irony makes me laugh as I write this. I close my eyes and breathe into this suddenly open door, the possibility of singing whenever and wherever – just for fun! I’ll keep you posted.
TRY THIS: Are you comfortable singing anywhere? Let me know what it’s like.
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