Perfect Is What Is!

Songweavers in concert

Songweavers in concert

Last week was bookended by Songweavers annual concert and a two-day Vibrant Voice workshop. I was bathed in music- focused, passionate and beautiful. Songweavers is a community chorus with a wide range of vocal experience, learning everything by ear, essentially memorizing the entire concert.

I have learned a very important life lesson in my years performing. Perfect is not a product in which goals bind people in a straight jacket of judgments, both from others and ourselves. Perfect is the process. Perfect is what is.
What was perfect about the Songweavers concert was the process of singing together once a week all year, rehearsing intensely the week before, learning all we could, including how to let go of mistakes and to sing in the moment. The result was a concert of joy – smiling faces, dancing bodies, and colorful women, happy to share our love of music with families and friends.

Mary Anne Radmacher said, “What joy there is when one gets to take part in the song of love itself.” That’s what Songweavers did in concert this month. What a wholehearted performance – focused, musical and joyful, the songs of love itself. Perfection is what is.

The Rhythm of Life

This article will appear in the Concord Monitor.

newly blooming crocuses in my garden

newly blooming crocuses in my garden


The Rhythm of Life

This is the rhythm of spring. A dozen golden crocuses open their eager faces in my garden. Pussy willows bloom gray and soft as my cat, who wants to go out as soon as she comes in. The sun once again reaches around the house to warm the screen porch. I sit in its sunny corner savoring this first return after a long winter. Rhythm anchors my life.

I am the conductor of Songweavers, an a cappella women’s chorus at Concord Community Music School. This year, the theme of our annual spring concert is The Rhythm of Life. Weekly, as we prepare for next Sunday’s concert, we have been exploring the rituals of rhythm.

Spring, the season of rebirth, is in our face with its whining wind and teasing sun, making us wait for the warmth we know is around the corner. The rhythm of spring wakes us up to our own new beginnings. As Cindy Kallett writes in one of our songs, “My heart is ready and what am I gonna do? … I’m gonna walk to the glory of the mountains.”

I am going to walk today, too, through the woods, watching for the glory of new life. Rhythm brackets our life – from the rhythm of blood and heart beat in the womb, our cells vibrating in rhythm with our mother’s pulse, to the last sigh as we exhale one last time. In between, there is our daily rhythm, seasonal rhythm and the phases of our lives. We talk about natural rhythm, internal rhythm, cardiac rhythm and arrhythmia. We feel the circadian rhythms of our bodies, lunar, solar and tidal rhythms. In lyric rhythm, Cy Coleman sings, “Oh, the rhythm of life is a powerful beat, Puts a tingle in your fingers and a tingle in your feet.”

We humans use rhythm to understand and interact with life. We play drums, dance and chant to unravel and commune with the mysteries of life. From breath and blood to communication with the divine, from cycles of light and dark to the rhythm of gardens, spring and growing things, from wind, waves and weather to the natural cycles of life and death, from the first cry to the last sigh, humans live in a symphony of rhythm.

Michael Jackson said, “To live is to be musical, starting with the blood dancing in our veins. Everything living has a rhythm. Do you feel your music?” Music is one way we connect to our core rhythm – in praise, prayer and play, running, resting and reveling. Breathing, eager, and alive, the beat of the world is on the move. As Ira Gershwin wrote, with a slight edit from Songweavers, “I got rhythm. I got music. I got my song. Who could ask for anything more?” Who, indeed?

I read once that if you place two living heart cells from two different people in a petrie dish, they will in time find and maintain a third and common beat. Like singing, a chorus breathing and vibrating together, we create a sound and rhythmic energy that unites each beating heart. From sun-up to sun-down, through the seasons of our lives and the dances of our days, from one heart beat to two to the many beating as one, music anchors us to being alive. Spring is a splendid time to celebrate the rhythm of our life.

Peggo is teaching a Vibrant Voice Workshop called Sing Into Spring April 19 and 20 at CCMS. For information on that and the Songweavers Concert, April 14, go to www.ccmusicschool.org.

Toning for PTSD

rivers and emotions converging beautifully

rivers and emotions converging beautifully

“What a wonderful, beautiful, nourishing day was Saturday! Thank you so, so much for leading us in toning, chanting and song. I have long wanted to learn more about toning, and this was a very good beginning. The feedback I’ve gotten from those who attended has been completely positive!” Allison Aldrich, director of Animaterra, a women’s chorus in Keene, NH, wrote me those comments after a Vibrant Voice workshop this weekend. We had a blast.

Teaching Vibrant Voice workshops reminds me of the power of my own voice to soothe, amplify, awaken, focus, and connect to my own energy. In a novel I was reading last night, the mother of the main character dies in a car accident in which she was t-boned. I had a car accident last September in which I was t-boned, but luckily I was hit on the passenger side.

This morning, I woke up rattled and out of sorts.  My body’s energy was vibrating with the multitude of memories and emotions from my own accident. I began toning an ooh vowel. An [h] crept in with the breath sounding like – [hoo], like an owl. HU, pronounced [hoo] or [hue], is the sound that connects us with the Divine (see my blog on Feb. 26 about [HU]. Toning an [ooh] vowel will also bring your energy, mind and spirit into focus. I toned a simple [hoo] in the shower. Afterward, I still felt sad about my accident and lucky to be alive. I also felt calmer, centered and more focused.

This was a mini PTSD experience. The events of a book brought back my own difficult memories and emotions.  Toning helped reconnect me with my alive, centered, present self.  When you need centering and focus, tone an [ooh] vowel for three or more minutes and see what happens. Let me know what you find.

 

 

Create Your Own Mantra

At our Vibrant Voice workshop in Hawaii last month, Tracey Lambe, my collaborator and I, asked participants to create their own personal mantra. Mantra means “protection.”  A mantra uses a sacred sound to provide protection for the mind and spirit.  The diversity of expressions was beautiful and fascinating.

Some examples are:

Toning my mantra with a Tibetan Singing Bowl

Toning my mantra with a Tibetan Singing Bowl

~I open doors to life and love.

~Resonance reveals elation.

~Gentle warrior.

~ I am.

You can create your own mantra. First, tone your body, i.e. – let your body sing itself and you follow along observing what feels resonant and good to you. Second, in stream-of-conscious style, write for 5-10 minutes about your experience with the toning. Don’t think. Just write. Go back and highlight any key words that grab your attention. Third, try sounding these words to see if they bring you to your center. If words get in the way, let go of the consonants and just sound the vowels. You can also use this mantra as a focus of silent meditation.

This exercise makes mantras meaningful and personal. Let me know what works for you.

A Vortex of Transformation

water flowing from the mouth of a cave after a week of rain

water flowing from the mouth of a cave after a week of rain

Vickie Dodd, in her book Tuning the Blues to Gold, talks about sound creating a “vortex of transformation.”  Whether toning in a group or alone, we can use sound to express what is present for us at the moment.  We can whine, moan, bitch, hum, croon, shout, babble and ring our inner chimes.  This kind of sounding creates a space to be able to listen to ourselves, to begin to trust the “words,” to let go and breathe.  This sound bath nourishes the central nervous system.

TRY THIS: In the shower, with the rushing water for accompaniment, explore the sounds inside your body.  What do your bones say?  What muscles are constricted?  How do they sound?  What’s gurgling in your belly?  What is beating in your heart?  What opens the door of your back?  Let your body communicate with you through sound, creating your very own daily vortex of transformation.

Sound + Intention + Healing

Hawaiian fern unfolding

Hawaiian fern unfolding

Last summer, I took a ten-day sound Healing Intensive with Jonathan Goldman.  One of his central equations is sound + intention = healing.  Every time I teach a Vibrant Voice workshop, I am reminded of that simple truth.  What this means is when we combine our conscious intention with our chanted sound, the body energetically returns to alignment with itself in what feels like healing.

For example, in last month’s workshop in Hawaii, we began by chanting our names with the intention of getting centered in our bodies and grounded in the space.  Our names have an energetic charge unique to each of us.  Chanting our name immediately realigns our energy with our core identity.  Within a couple of minutes, I could feel the shift in the room.  People had come in to the workshop from their busy morning with their personal concerns and were now a circle of women resonating together, present, shed of the distractions of the day.  It works like magic every time.

TRY THIS: Close your eyes and begin sounding your name silently to yourself.  Listen to the sounds of your name.  Then speak, chant or sing your name aloud.  Feel the consonants and vowels.  The emotional connection is carried in the vowels.  Explore and play with the sounds of your name.  Let the vibrations ripple throughout your body.  Follow your name until it spirals its way into a hum.  Hum. Vibrate. Breathe. Give thanks for you!

Resonance Reveals Elation

Tracey and I on her lanai after the workshop.

Tracey and I on her lanai after the workshop.

My cousin, Tracey Lambe, a poet and psychotherapist, lives in Hilo, Hawaii.  Yesterday, we facilitated a Vibrant Voice workshop together at The Balancing Monkey Yoga Studio called “Free the Voice of Your Heart.”  A participant wrote these words; “subtle, sacred sound; resonance reveals elation.”  I love that image – resonance reveals elation.  Resonance vibrates every cell, molecule and electron of our bodies.  What results is the stuff that isn’t part of our core make-up, e.g.- unconscious static, old beliefs, and physical constrictions, is shaken loose, vibrated out of our bodies.  Resonance reveals who we are.  Elation is being, knowing and accepting who we are in this moment – this airy yoga studio, vibrating and resonating with a circle of wonderful curious women.

 

TRY THIS: For 3-5 minutes, close your eyes, breathe into your Buddha belly, then chant the syllable HU, pronounced [who] or [hue], whichever way resonates best for you.  HU is the universal sound for God/Spirit.  Chanting HU for three or more minutes will clear the energy of your body and the space in which you are toning.  What does resonance reveal for you?

Eat a Rainbow

 

Hilo jungle from Tracey's back deck.

Hilo jungle from Tracey’s back deck.

Eat a Rainbow

I am writing in rainy Hilo, Hawaii.  I am here for two weeks visiting my cousin, Tracey, who lives here.  Tropical rain has its own voice.  From thunderous deluge to hissing mist, snickering drizzle to drumming downpour, the rain here dominates the exterior and interior landscapes.

There is a stream in the deep gully behind the house, completely invisible now, covered by a thick bamboo grove, tall avocado trees, and ferns like multi-fingered giants’ hands.  Tracey said, “Listen, we have a waterfall now.”  Some days, it’s barely audible.  Today, after three days of rain, it’s happily free-falling, a steady, loud background for the waves of dripping water.

Hilo is the rainiest city in Hawaii.  As a New Englander visiting in February, craving heat and sun, this can be a challenge.  But the rain also creates the lush, vibrant growth of the jungle around me.  I am opening myself to the idea that this rain can also promote growth in me as I prepare to eat a rainbow.

Singing in My Full Power

Jennifer, Calvin and I reveling after a magical concert.

Jennifer, Calvin and I reveling after a magical concert.

In the Larksong Trio concert on Nov. 30, I learned something very important – performing from my full personal and musical power is thrilling, grounding, and a gift. Performance anxiety often stems from this limiting belief – “I need to be perfect. I can’t make a mistake.” Or the flip side – “I need to keep myself a little smaller than I am. If I am too good/powerful, people may not like me.”

I have seen this belief play out in myself and countless students. This is fundamentally about being who we are, expressing all of who we are through the voice – both on stage and in life. This is vulnerable and uncertain, but also open-hearted and generous. As Marianne Williamson famously said, ” We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.”
When we stand in our full voice and our full, radiant presence, we give ourselves the gift of being fully who we are. We give others the gift of freedom to do the same.

The Power of Song

Peggo teal  headshotThis article appeared in the Concord Monitor on February 4, 2013.

In mid-January, I volunteered to lead a singing workshop at the women’s prison in Goffstown, and five brave inmates joined me. All but one were scared to sing, but, as they said, there was nothing else to do.

I began the workshop as I always do with a very simple song, easy to learn, easy to create endless verses. Very quickly, it was clear that singing out loud, even a fun, little song, was not going to work. It made the women feel too vulnerable. I suggested we try a single syllable instead, “HU,” pronounced “who.” HU is a syllable that clears the energy of the person chanting and the energy in the room.

I told the women that they could sing the sound out loud with me or silently in their head, and it would work either way. We toned HU for three or four minutes.

Afterward, I asked the women how they felt. Their responses: relaxed, centered, calmer, more aware of my self and surroundings; the tension went out of my back; whatever was bothering me was put behind.

Two important facts about singing emerged, making all the difference to the women. First, every cell of every thing on earth, including ourselves, is composed of vibrating energy. When we sing, the vibrating sound brings all the disparate vibrations of our cells into harmonic alignment. Called entrainment, it is the basis of music therapy and our emotional and physical responses to different kinds of music. Singing one clear syllable, HU, with me for about three minutes changed the energy of everyone in that small cafeteria, transforming the place and the people. The immediate positive impact of that sounding was a unique experience for the women. They wanted to know more.

Second, the entrainment effects on the body and mind are the same whether you sing out loud or silently in your head, moving your lips, tongue and mouth as if you are actually singing. The brain functions the same whether the singing is audible or silent. The power of visualization is well-known to athletes and musicians for enhancing their performance.

This fact gave the women permission to try something new, to sing even if they were uncomfortable, intimidated, embarrassed or felt unsafe. They all looked relieved when I told them they could do it in their head and still experience the benefits. The irony was that as soon as they realized they didn’t have to sing out loud, they all began making more sound. They stopped nervously looking at each other and tuned inward to their own experience.

After HU, we sang three other vowels for their specific effects on one’s energy. To change brainwaves and the energetic state of the body, it is best to chant these sounds for at least three to five minutes. Your body will know when to stop.

After chanting an “ee” vowel, the women described their experience as “energized, awake, alert, relief, peaceful, bright eyes.”

After chanting an “ah” vowel, they said they felt “tired, clean, warm, lived in; the vibrations started in my shoulders and went down my spine.”

After sounding “ooh,” they felt “centered, aligned, safe, free, at home, integrated and relaxed.”

These sounds work for everyone: ee for energizing, ah for calming and relaxing, and ooh for centering and focus.

In a 2010 study about mind wandering and happiness, psychologists at Harvard found that the people who said they were the happiest were focused on the present moment. Singing can only be done in the present moment. From children to voice students, amateur choral singers to participants in my Vibrant Voice workshops, people consistently say that singing makes them happy.

I don’t know what these women did to land in prison, but they were young, articulate, nice, polite, eager to learn and scared to sing. At the beginning, one woman sat down with her shoulders hunched and said she carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. She felt silenced by several bad relationships with men and now living in prison. In an hour and a half, she sang silently, then aloud, asked questions and left smiling.

At the end, I asked the women to describe how the workshop made them feel. “Relaxed, relief, aligned, alive, feel better mentally, inner peace.” As she left, another woman said she was surprised by the experience, adding, “It doesn’t take a long time to center.”

I was reminded that we can each choose to be present in whatever circumstances we find ourselves, even prison – whether literal or metaphoric. Singing can take us there, in the present, where we can be centered and happy.

(Peggo Horstmann Hodes of Concord is a singer, performer, voice teacher and conductor of Songweavers at Concord Community Music School. Read more at peggohodes.com/blog.)